A Man's World

Graffiti on the L train

"A picture is worth a thousand words."
Anonymous

Feeling so down lately. Very blue. I've come to the realization that these feelings are quite possibly the mark of a man. Maybe just me. My mother caught me crying. She felt bad for me. I'm such a pussy.

Today I'm Feeling:

abysmal

Comments? Anyone? Why do I bother?

Fucked!

Sorry for the obscene title. Nothing is going right. Fuck it all. I just wish I had a loaded shotgun. Bladdow!!! That's what I need.

So I had a window tint ticket to respond to today and I blew it! I thought it was for Wednesday March 7th, turns out that is the day I officially default on my Sallie Mae loan. Tuesday the 6th is the day (today) that I had to respond. Needless to say, I wasn't there. I'm fucked from every angle. So fucking worthless I am.

More notes from "work."

• I've had a headache from being so sleepy.
• I miss happiness. This is a wild goose chase. I won't find it.
• Why can't I function?
• Happy thoughts. Positive thoughts. Ignore unhappiness.
• My problem is that I know what I want, but they are things I won't achieve and I know it.
• The Guggenheim might be next.
• These Asians have nice sneakers.
• More people consign to "out of sight, out of mind" than to "distance makes the heart grow fonder."
• One of these Koreans just told the class that her ideal man will have big hands. 11:20am
  
• I need to be asked on a date so I can avoid paying.
• "A man who is a good friend is likely to find a good wife because marriage is based on a talent for friendship." Nietzsche
• The unsaid.
• Mention "wishful thinking" to Tiramisu.
• Monopoly is Blue Marble in Korea.
• Most people claim they aren't picky in terms of finding a partner.

Today I'm feeling:

like a dog

I'm tired, but not too tired to read your comments. Leave it!

The "I's" have it!

Yours truly and one of my two best friends for life at Grenada's Grand Etang Lake in 2003

I'm usually weary about putting my image on the net... but to heck with it, I don't look like this anymore.

Here are some thoughts from my first day at "work" today:

• I want and like animal crackers!
• My longest relationship was one year and one month.
• I am beyond hungry and sleepy. 12:10pm
• My mind is a chronic wanderer.
• I feel like an aardvark in a housing project.
• I am at a distinct disadvantage in life.
• I am likely at the crux of my life.
• I am in serious trouble.
• Thank goodness I bought this shirt; I barely have any business casual attire.
• I am not going to look anything like a teacher.
• I know what a Schengen Visa is.
• In the classroom, I am the only person with my problem *recurrent thought*
• I am never going to "make it."
• Less than half an hour to go here. 3:17pm

Today I'm feeling:

Shot down

Like the watery carnage that evacuates from your backside after the chipotle crap you had for lunch, my depression seeps. Still, I haven't called for a moratorium on comments.

Hustlin'

Sean and Crystal, Buenos Aires, April, 2006

The above image is actually one of my favorites. To me it's quite artistic. It is anonymity, though identities are not hidden. It's intimate, in an intimate sort of way. Yet, it's completely not intimate. The distortions of the subjects' proportions are obvious and almost exaggerated. The pavement almost looks flawless, though not.What is he holding in his left hand? What is she wearing? What were they thinking? Feeling? Where were they going? Yes, I qualify this piece as modern art. Not for sale!

"Planning before work protects from regrets; patience is the key to comfort."
Ceramic earthenware artwork on display at the Brooklyn Museum

Today I'm feeling:

Exhausted

Work is on the horizon and I'm unprepared. I'm more casual than business casual. I suppose I won't be protected from regrets, but I'll live in comfort! Please, comment.

Brooklyn!

Under the Brooklyn Bridge

"...How sweet it is."
Anonymous, on a sign posted when entering Brooklyn from the Verrazano Bridge.

Headed to the Brooklyn Museum later this evening. Just thought I'd give the blogosphere a small glimpse of the splendor of my hometown. If you look carefully, you can see that even in winter, a tree grows here. Along with lamp posts.

I'm currently rocking to Jimmy Crack Corn by Eminem featuring fiddy.

Today I'm feeling:

fatigued

And why do I still see no comments?

The Grassy Knoll

A grassy knoll, Central Park, NYC

"An unoccupied mind is the devil's playground."
Anonymous

I try to keep a clean home, but even with my unemployed, self loathing, yet domesticated self I find it so difficult sometimes to keep up. I hear superstitious Japs are going to town in the bathroom. I wish I owned stock in the company that produces the Scrubbing Bubbles. Meanwhile, I hear that the faux Pisces are getting on.

Today I'm feeling:

a little better

What say you?

Gully, nigga!

Amazing day to live in New York City. It was a balmy 42 degrees as the sunshine bathed this Brooklyn pier. Unbeknownst to this 'gull, the city council enacted a silly symbolic anti "nigga" policy. Something about the word being demeaning. To be honest, the word is merely a word that has taken on a whole new connotation. You've got to be pretty stupid to see it any other way. People really aren't taking things within context anymore; like the folks who invoke the Bible's literal meaning. At least, if you want this nigga free utopia, then give gays the right to marriage. No? Symbolically?

But still, beautiful day.

Today I'm feeling:

Midas-esque

Comment.