Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The bagel verdict...


A Canadian man hopped aboard a NASA rocket and finds himself in outer space. No big deal, yeah? Well, it is a big deal... if you're from Montreal. The guy ordered a boat load of bagels from this place on Fairmount near St. Urbain and the rest is history.

Did you know that little anecdote? Not likely, if you're from bagel-loving New York, where the city undoubtedly boasts the world's best. The Canastronaut was destined to bring Canadian bagels. Seriously, would he have brought maple syrup or Canadian bacon? Only bagels would keep long enough to be consumed at some point down the line and you wouldn't expect him to bring AMERICAN bagels now, would you? For all we know, perhaps he's never even had a New York bagel up until that fateful point in Bagel history. It's sheer bagelnomics my dear, Watsonheim.

Being that I am not moneyed and far from my beloved Brooklyn (and consequently the financially subsidized confines of my mother) I've embarked on quests by the handful in search of cheap and filling foods here in Montreal. Then it hit me! After enduring taunts by various Montrealers about how great the bagels here are, I seem to recall that bagels are quite filling and cheap. Bagels are quite filling and cheap (repeated because someone somewhere thought to him/herself "phew, you could say that again").

The thought hit me at an hour fast approaching midnight, so I summoned my old friend; these here Internets. Apparently, Rocketboy, eh's bagel shop was a 24 hour establishment and with narry a hesitation I entered my coordinates and headed out ("oat"). Yes, the bagels were reasonably priced (less than C$1 each) so I picked up a few and headed to a Provigo for some peanut butter and strawberry preserves. When I got home I reached into my bag of bagels and pulled out a cinnamon-raisin and a plain. Hard as stones! Still, barely deterred, I reached for a breadknife and sliced them in two, popped them in the toaster and applied ample amounts of peanut and strawberry matter. That's the stuff! Like my mother says "You butter your bread real nice, man. All sides."

Okay, so here's the verdict. The bagel itself has so much hole to it and as previously mentioned, it's a hard piece of wheat. Also, if you paid close attention, I had to slice my own bagel. Bagel stores where I'm from have contraptions (expensive, but classy looking things, really) what slice your bagels for you. Also, bagel stores in my parts toast AND do the buttering/jellying/peanutbutter et. al. for you. Fairmount Bagels only bakes you bagels and sells you bagels and bagel provisions (cream cheeses and stuff). Oh yeah, the hole industry works against the bagel consumer. The bagels, too, are smaller. So this all equates to a more expensive, though indirectly so, bagel. There is less bagel and you have to work harder to get it ready for your tongue. But, it IS delicious. They are really, really good. A little sweeter, tougher and chewier, but gumptious. I will say, the New York bagel is the better value. There is less hole and more bagel. New York bagel shops will customize your bagel however you fancy it. New York bagels are softer though I'd imagine a Montreal bagel is easier to tolerate once it has staled. A stale New York bagel is a brick with more practicality as an implement of violence than nutrition. Still, based solely on deliciousness, value and quality, the New York bagel is better in my subjective, Brooklynite mind. A valiant effort by Montreal Jews is not, however, to be ignored. They are delicious and both the main bagel bakers are 24 hour establishments. I've only ever been to Bagelsmith in Williamsburg for a bagel at 3am (but they are an ill representation of the New York bagel as they are overpriced and, frankly, not all that delicious).

It must be noted that I bought better bagels at the supermarket just a couple blocks away from me, but still they are a half notch below a good New York bagel (even a New York supermarket bagel). They're less tough and a slight bit bigger. They're still sweeter (which is nice) and very delicious but probably less edible when not toasted.

It should also be noted that I tend to only eat toasted bagels with stuff on them. I have been able to eat really good New York bagels without any toasting or stuff. I'm afraid to try it with the Montreal bagels as they are much tougher than New York bagels.

While eating my 2am Fairmount Bagel bagels it occured to me what my mother would say. She'd quip that I left New York and drove hours to the Great White Franco for tiny, hard bagels with huge holes. I'd be embarrassed. They're delicious, but certainly no New York bagel.

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