Kate!

Kate!

Sean: Yo Kate!

Kate: Mrrrr mrrr mrrreowww, mrrr

Sean: You caught that new Bin Laden joint? My dude is out with a new video. He just dropped it. It's getting heavy rotation too!

Kate: Meow, mrrr mreow.

Sean: Yeah, he hit his beard up with Just For Men. I think for his next video he'll be rocking a fade with 2 or 3 cuts in his eyebrow. For real though, I like OBL. Not as much as I liked the ODB, but OBL actually stands for something. Unlike Bush. Bush is in Iraq, he's in Afghanistan, and it's all a stalemate just like Vietnam and Korea. Same shit, different wing of the White House. OBL barely lifts a finger and is probably rocking 72 virgins in a cave, humous. The new Bin Laden tape.

Kate:..... mrrreow.

"I'm a fine tuned super sonic speed machine/
with a sunroof top and a gangsta lean"
Rhianna on Shut up and drive

Today I'm feeling:

like one of the small business owners from the Capital One commercials

Man overboard...

Luxembourg Sean

I am not me. Of the trio, I suppose I'm the odd man out. The one to not have performed. I'm the 1 in 3 that will not make it. I lack in resilience. Still, I make up for mountains with spirit. I'm a walking dream. Not for better. I dream to breathe. I dream to keep walking. I dream just to stay alive. I dream of death too. I'm the yellow jacket without the stinger. Why do the other two keep me around? There must be something about me? What is it? It ain't my smile.

I bring the color. I don't give grief. I don't. My half empty glass is all joy. I make time to play. I bring the play time. They claim I'm the more intelligent one. Pppffffftttt! More intelligent than what? I think it's that beige on white distinguishes itself. I'm not stupid, but plaster that across my abstract background and it sort of stands out. The stupid shit I do only makes me look smart.

Get a load of this, I'm profiling myself.

You're your own worst critic playboy.

"Tell me how you got that pretty little face on that pretty little frame girl"
Justin Timberlake on Summer love

Today I'm feeling:

woeful

Got a couple games on the horizon and I'll be sentenced to fire and brimstone before I miss one. Got flag football on Sunday am and basketball late on Monday. Don't know how I'll manage with a broke foot, but my broke wallet hasn't stopped me yet.

I'll be broke until I'm broken.

Zaheer

Z

Zaheer, though the youngest of our trio, is by far the most mature. He's the pillar, steadfast, the most obstinate. He's the center. He's the pitcher. Without him, there'd be no team. He's literally and figuratively a business man. There's no guff in his stuff.

Zaheer is also the most gentle and caring human being alive. He feels real pain. You have to love a man who loves. Zaheer, your shortcomings only fortify the fact that you're perfect. Absofuckinglutely perfect. And I love you man.

He once told me whenever you lose a friend, you always find a better one to replace the one you just lost. At his wedding I quoted Oscar Wilde, among others, and told him, in regards to his wife, that women were made to be loved and not understood. I botched the impromptu speech at his big birthday bash, so I made it my duty to give the absolute best speech at his wedding. Both sides of the family are still raving about my words. The best part, what I'm most proud of, is my back up plan to my back up plan. I'd hate to jinx things in any way for my buddy, but if he comes to me with any sort of marital woe, I've got better advice. But I'm saving it in case he never needs it.

"...you're probably on your flight back to your hometown..."
Fergie on Big girls don't cry

Today I'm feeling:

like a fat bitch?

Amzad

AzK, MD

I'm not afraid to say it. There are two men on this planet that I love. I love both of them equally. I love them like brothers most of the time, but there are some profound moments when I love them like I'd love a father. I'm assuming, of course. I've never known a father, so it's not like I know precisely what that love would feel like.

I feel a lot of pain. Sometimes I'm too selfish. And through it all, through all of my ugliness, I've never been jealous or envious or mad or vengeful of the men I love.

I love Amzad. He's smart, funny, light hearted, extremely kind, attractive, and poised to be great. He's also a good Muslim, and above all a great man. I only hope that one day I can repay him for being such an awesome being. I hope that one day I can show how much I appreciate this man's friendship.

No homo.

"Steam from the cup and snow on the path/
the seasons have changed from the present to past"
Feist on The Park

Today I'm feeling:

menstrual?

Ouch!

Peach!

Today I broke my motherfucking foot. Such a shame too, because I was holding off on starting my workouts until tomorrow because I had a basketball game tonight I didn't want to exhaust myself for. Here's the kicker, the workouts are intended to be my emotional chicken soup. I was suppose to become a fucking workout beast.

I've completely lost my appetite too. I've been eating nothing but peaches and fucking nectarines for days.

Now I have a broken foot. A monkeyfucking broken foot! Argggh! I think I'm still going to start my workouts though. Push ups, crunches and a light jog while I heavily favor my broken right foot.

"I'm caught in self destruction, I spend my life in hell/
no gladness, no crying, don't see the light of day"
Reign of fire by Messiah's kiss

Today I'm feeling:

broked

As in I broked my foot.

From where Big Brother can't see you...

Man I wish I hadn't stopped blogging. How could I just jump ship? Ugh, I'm so bemused by my blogospheric actions. Consider me the sudoku of Blogspot.

So I caught this absolutely superb movie that I have to give a resounding thumbs up to. 3:10 to Yuma. Critics love it and for once I couldn't agree more. I'd actually pay to catch this thing. It's a Western with drama, action and almost completely devoid of romance. The pace, the direction, the cinematography is top fucking notch. Catch it if you get the opportunity. It's automatically in my top 3.

Otherwise, I've got some typing to do. I've got to catch up.

What happened you ask? Well, to be honest, transcribing lyrics got me lazy. I'd have no trouble typing, but to listen and type lyrics seemed daunting when I just didn't want to do it. And I didn't want to create posts without lyrics. It was inertia that made me all but give up.

"...you can't get paid and the Earth this big?/
you worthless kid, nigga don't deserve to live..."
Cam'ron on Losin' Weight

Today I'm feeling:

emaciated

Gamespot.com = Communism

So remember the post where I quote the email I sent to the folks at Gamespot.com? The one where I rant about their fucked up new game rating system? Yeah. Well, the fuckers banned me! I can't post on their forums anymore. Not that I really care to post to the fucking forums, but isn't it silly that a person can't find fault with anything anymore? The moment you do, motherfuckers ban you! Is this communism? Did I commit a crime against the people? So, they said my email was abusive. I don't think so. Do you? Did I curse them out? No, though curse words were involved, it wasn't at anyone. It was at the new ratings system. I was only expressing my opinion. No? I can't altercate? Pure, unadulterated stupidness. Malarkey, crockery, hogwash, jive and subterfuge! I can't think of anymore pejorative adjectives, but Gamespot.com blows chunks. Stop playing games with me.

Not that communism is necessarily or inherently bad; it is rooted in revolutionary, freedom-minded, equality and a liberal mentality.

"...if your girl is fine she's a dime/
a suit is a vine, jewelry is shine/
if you in love that mean you're blind..."
Big L on Ebonics

Today I'm feeling:

what?

yup!

Berried!

Strawberries!

Man, do I have a ton of catching up to do? Want to read some foul shit?! Check this out. Where've I been you ask? Asleep! Seriously. I've been sooooo exhausted. I kid you not. Maybe I really do have that chronic fatigue thing. Like, I was literally too tired to blog. How fucking tired do you have to be to be too tired to type 100 words? I'm still hurting from exhaustion. Red Bull and coffee keep me invigorated, but not much else. I had a doctor's appointment, but I really didn't know how to pay for it, so I skipped it. How fucked up am I? Plus, I didn't think any of y'all really cared to read about me that much. So I kept shit on the hush whilst I tried to catch my breath. That's not to say that I've caught it yet, but I am chillin' on my day off in the A/C so I figured, why the fucks not!!

"20 million later, I'm guessing it's finally soaking in/
unless you just a hater who mad at me because he broke again/
selling all their jewelry, considering selling dope again/
'cause he who's balling out of control is supposed to be focusing/
want to beat the king, by default they hoping for an opening/
pray they see the day they hear me say 'I'll never flow again'"
T.I. on Raw

Today I'm feeling:

raw dealed

My basketball teams won 6 straight games though. Can't feel sore about that.

That's why I don't be fucking with khats

I just got back from this screening of Black Gold. It's a nice little documentary about the Ethiopian coffee growing folk and their plight in the global economy. Not an award winner of a documentary, but certainly enough to get me enthused about the certified free trade shit. So buy some free trade coffee, and try to keep it to just free trade coffee!

Khat! It's the new marijuana! Actually, it's a narcotic that's, you guessed, illegal here in the States. Get some high grade shit though, and let's get our free trade on. It's pretty ancient and the Village Voice has even done a little diddy on it.

Do some reading, then holler at me!

"I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven/
when I awoke up, I spent that on a necklace/
I told God I'll be back in a second/
man, it's so hard not to act reckless"
Kanye West on You can't tell me nothing

Today I'm feeling:

half awake

Cutey McCute!

Here's an email I sent to www.gamespot.com, who recently reformatted the way they do their video game reviews.

"Hey, just spot checked your review for the Final Fantasy remake on the PSP. I read about the reformatting of the reviews over the weekend and knew exactly what to expect. I searched all over the www.gamespot.com website and didn't find exactly where to send this, so I'm sending it on to you with the hopes that you could forward it to the right or best person; the one whom it would concern the most, frankly.

With that said, please be aware that I wrote and rewrote this email to make sure it sounded just right. I did so to be concise and succinct, and though it's customary to say "no offense," I actually mean every shred of offense the right person on the chain of command can extract from my words. So without further adieu, here's what I have to say:

The new Gamespot.com game ratings format fucking suck!

Warm regards,

Sean"

Happy first day of summer motherfuckers!

"...we need more than emcees, we need Hueys and revolutionaries/
the niggas on the streets today is kinda scary..."
M1 of dead Prez on We need freedom

Today I'm feeling:

kinda scary?

you?

A little more English

What has my life become? I'm teaching English as a second language and it dawns on me that I suck something terrible. I've realized this before, mind you. I just needed reminding. The problem with teaching where I "teach" is that there isn't enough meat on the bone. I don't mean monetarily either, though the pay is pretty slim as well. I mean the syllabus just lacks content and I'm no magician. I just can't find material; worthwhile, constructive, productive material to cover. I really do want to teach English, I just don't have it. I'm exhausted. Daily. Literally fatigued. Burned out. Burnt. Beat. I took solace in reading this. Man, I can almost relate. I like being in front of the class. I just don't like insulting the students by not having engrossing and productive activities to increase their English fluency. Some one throw me a bone.

"...don't get it twisted, I don't regret shit/
I don't remember but I don't forget shit, that's how the game go..."
Buckshot on No way by Blackmoon

Today I'm feeling:

wrung

Who else feels extremely beat? What the f?

Give me room

Biblical quotes/verses in the ghetto

Long day. In other words, don't see 1408. I went to a free screening near Union Square and the buggers at Dimension Films decided this was such a monumental release that they had to check bags and collect everyone's cell phones for fear that they'd let in the bootleggers or some dumb shit. I'm guessing that's because they know this is not a movie made for theatrical release. The movie is bad. Just plain bad. However, the screening was packed! I stood in the merciless sun for an hour and a half. I arrived two hours before the flick started, to wait in line. When I first got there, there may have been 30 people in line before me. By the time they started letting us in, there were probably about 115 in front of me, maybe more. What the F? I recommend waiting for the DVD and ordering it through NetFlix. It's just not worth your time, money and effort otherwise.

John Cusack plays some B-list writer who travels the country debunking ghost stories. His canned speeches may sound eloquent in the original Stephen King short story, but it sounds canned in a film. The same goes for Samuel L. Jackson as the manager of the Dolphin Hotel, Mr. Olin. Though Samuel does bring his usual flair and swagger to the film, his role is not big enough to carry this movie into hit status.

In all, I suppose it'll sell tickets, but it will fade from memory quite easily. Fans of the short story may want to ignore every urge to actually go see this thing. However, it still made the most of it; it didn't cost me a cent.

"...you let your man hype you/
to go against your idol/
knowing good and God damned well this is what I do..."
Jay-Z on Dig a hole

Today I'm feeling:

buried

Really lethargic/fatigued. Far from intrigued. I don't even have that blog fire in me today.

Hollar at your Uncle Ho

What Koreans eat for din din

I'm a racist, and consider this my racist statement! And with that said, check out this racist.

"Nothing is more precious than independence and freedom."
Guess who? Abraham Lincoln? Mahatma Gandhi? Martin Luther King Jr.? Mother fucking Benjamin Franklin or one of the other founding fathers? Winston Churchill maybe? Pppfffftttt, motherfucking Ho Chi Minh. As in Ho Chi Minh City. As in Tet offensive. As in Saigon. As in communist. Reading is a motherfucker. I don't know what else to say to you motherfuckers.

"Mr. Ripper from the Stuy to the Hill, it's all real/
gotta maintain 'cause the sun don't chill."
Tek of the Cocoa Brovaz a/k/a Smiff n Wesson on Still standin strong

Today I'm feeling:

whelmed, though not quite over nor under

Care to add your couple cents?

Sunday shakedown

Wow, is this what I asked for? I've got work Monday morning, which means I need to prepare a lesson plan. I've also got the world's grandest headache and a mental block bigger than the Berlin Wall. It's big enough for border security. I should sell it to Customs.

Happy Fathers' Day Larry Birkhead! You da man, however Clay Aiken-ish you are.

I might have to go on a Baskin Robbins' pistachio almond hand packed pint run in a bit, however, what with alternate side of the street parking, I'd lose my prime parking spot. The woes of a lazy, pointless, aimless, useless mofo.

Went to a streetball tournament today in Fort Greene. You know, I have to ask, where are people's brains. The guy who runs the team said they'd be short players because of Fathers' Day. First of all, Fathers' Day is really a day for people who do more than make a deposit at their local loose cervix. Not to say that everyone on this team is a remote pops. But c'mon, enough of them, I'm sure could come out to play some streetball. So, off the bat, you've got to question the resolve of this team. Anyways, so we start to scoop up people in the park to fill out the roster for the day so we could at least get the run in and... NO! Forfeit. Because the jerk running the team decides he'd rather pay the officials and take the loss than at least playing. I was frustrated because it must have been 100 on the black top, and the leagues seem wholly unorganized. Game time was scheduled to be 3pm, and the league director doesn't show up until 3. Then the guy fixing the net takes 30 minutes to put up two nets. Ridiculous. Peoples' brain are vacating this early in the summer. It sure doesn't look good.

"...bitch, know my forte, I'm not for play/
get your block, let the Gloch 4 play/
finger fucking the trigger, it's not foreplay/
one more time, I'm not for play..."
Beanie Sigel on Man's World

Today I'm feeling:

Like a boy amongst infants

No, no my head is throbbing. Ouch!

No, don't know this notice

"...to a fine of up to $1000 and/or imprisonment"

Isn't that a bitch? One thing about the mark terrorism has made on this country, we've all become bitch ass bitches. There is actually a term in sociology to describe life in the absence of such ordinances as the one above. It's called "white flight." It's when white people leave a neighborhood when ethnic minorities start to occupy it. The whites move away and start other, more to their liking, communities. They never put up ordinances prohibiting the riff raff from being nuisances. It's like my summons for moving between train cars. This is no longer a free country whereby you do as you please so long as it doesn't impede your neighbor. And a little boom boxing never hurt anyone. When did we become a country of rules and security checks? Next they'll make it against the law for the homeless to sleep out in the park. Big brother and his little brother too must have too much time on their hands. Stop watching us! 1984 was like a few years ago.

"...I know you're saying, they won't know, they won't miss it/
besides, I ain't a thief, they won't pay me a visit/
so if I come to your job, take your corn on the cob/
take a couple kernels off, that will be alright with you (hell no)..."
Andre 3000 on What a job by Devin the Dude

Today I'm feeling:

like I'm living in a police state

Marshall law bitches. Marshall law.

Succinctly sinked

Yeah, I also forgot to mention my number 1 symptom for feeling like I may be diabetic. I feel awfully fatigued of late. Everything has me lethargic. I'm just flat out of energy. I brought the diabetes conclusion to the forefront because of the excessive peeing and the thirsty thing too. But based on the tiredness alone, I suppose I could have leukemia too? Just saying.

"I'm your mama, I'm your daddy/
I'm that nigga in the alley/
I'm your doctor when you need/
want some coke, have some weed/
you know me, I'm your friend/
your main boy, thick and thin, I'm your pusherman"
Curtis Mayfield on Pusherman

Maybe I haven't been keeping up with my pusherman? Today, outside of picking up a small area rug and getting fitted for a tux (friend's July wedding), I couldn't get shit accomplished. Fuck it, let me go fix myself a sandwich.

Today I'm feeling:

like toilet bowl water

Flushed!

Ill Bill [of health]

Watch out Leila... I think I have diabetes! All day, lately, I've been thirsty like a fat kid with a salt lick and walking around with this insatiable urge to tinkle. I've had this condition since I came out of the flu in April and it won't stop following me. At first I theorized it to be the plethora of flu meds I was taking, but obviously the wake of Tylenol Cold and Flu and NyQuil is out of my system in its entirety by this.

And New Zealand is the new great place to live. A little on the chilly side I'd reckon, but lazily rolling hills, sheep, pastel green grass and kiwi fruit make this two isle country an off the beaten path-esque paradise. It's like Scotland, only better. And without that much scotch. Though they do have Steinlager!

"...soon we'll find out who is the real revolutionary/
'cause I don't want my people to be contrary..."
Bob Marley on Zimbabwe

Today I'm feeling:

less than sinewy

It's been some time since I hit the mat for a set of 30, or ran around the track 4 times in under 8 minutes.

I took the L

Museum Mile

Focus grouped my way to being $125 richer today. A nice little present. Then had a rendezvous with some free movie passes thereafter and probably a little unpaid writing gig with The L magazine. Not likely, though entirely possible.

Found myself at a nice little café in Brooklyn, though I was without my camera. Such a leisurely life. If only I were retired.

And lastly, I may be getting my little teacher thing back. The guy who took over for boss lady gave me a ring. He told me a teacher for whom I often sub for is moving on and I could assume his class. I have the feeling that if boss lady were still around, she'd be scrambling to hire a new teacher to replace him. I should, however, count my graces. Now if only that lightweight, folly of a summons were to disappear. Maybe I'll give the Legal Aid Society a ring and see if I can't further pursue this in a court of law.

Ooh, and this little trunk/bench thingy I love at Crate and Barrel went on sale! I might cop that. They chopped $80 of the original price. Alas, I'm moving!!! Save the bread Sean. I'm so terrible.

"...and if my gun boys ain't heard of ya/
ya light weight, I get the young boys to murder ya (flatline!)..."
Jim Jones on Emotionless

Note, the above quotation is not a stab or jolt or play on anything said to or about me in the last few. Though what may or may not have been said to or about me may have put that song in my head which may have led to me sliding the lyric into this post.

Today I'm feeling:

a slight chill

NYC is in the 60's today. I wish it were the 1960's!

Think outside the bars

Think, a café in NoHo

Oh yes, Thursday is the next new moon bonfire!!! Don't expect pics.

And check out hyraxes, they're the "new" elephants.

This Genarlow Wilson thing is just adding more fuel to my "fuck the powers that be" attitude fire. The DA knows this kid should not be imprisoned but is insisting on appealing the judge's decision that set Wilson free. If you know nothing of the case, Wilson was put behind bars at age 17 for letting a little loose 15 year old suck him off on camcorder. The girl didn't claim she was forced to do it or anything. In fact, no one complained. However, the footage was seen by the wrong person at some point and the kid was prosecuted under Georgia's archaic child sex laws. Obviously, teens having sex with teens is not pedophilia or child abuse. And obviously Wilson does not need to be in jail. However, he's served two of his mandatory 10 year sentence thus far. It was recent that he was ordered set free. But the fucking D.A., being the Uncle Tom he is, appealed that ruling and Wilson is wasting further time, in his youth, incarcerated. See how fucked up the law can be?

When I fought a parking ticket a couple years ago, the adjudication officer told me, off the record, that if the law says 2 + 2 = 5, then 2 + 2 = 5. That's why I've always had a problem standing dumb shit like a $77 subway ride (75 of those dollars are for an illegitimate summons). People tell me I shouldn't leave the city because of $75. I say to myself that these idiots are the reason why police, whose salaries my taxes help pay, get away with these atrocities. They'd pay the $75 and "move on with their lives." Fucking slaves.

"...put me in the hole, gave me cold cuts/
did push-ups until I swole up/
and then they offered me a furlough/
but what they don't know is as soon as I get free I'm killing 5 mo'..."
Tupac Shakur on When I get free

Today I'm feeling:

fight filled

Never mind, I'm being tempered by wholesome reading on travel. I'm trying to preoccupy my mind with anticipating adventure. Though at this point I'd much rather get carried by 6 than judged by 12.

Shading my face from the glare

Su and the pigeons

Exhausted of late. Maybe I'm vitamin deficient?

Let me be the first to say it! Free Paris.

I should've printed t-shirts and hustled them on the avenue.

Big things a gwon. Tomorrow there's Museum Mile. I'm definitely doing that shit. Then Wednesday, there's this thing in 'Billyburg where you go, get free screening tickets to Eagle v. Shark and get to Hula Hoop! And there was something else in the fray for Thursday too, though I forget what exactly. And my Monday substitute gig was extended from an afternoon only affair to a whole day thing. Neat, no?

Anyone else anticipating SiCKO?

"Son said 'Hov, how you get so fly?'/
I said 'from not being afraid to fall out the sky!'"
Jay-Z on Beach Chair

Today I'm feeling:

like life is anything but a beach chair

Life is but a bad dream.

NYC needs an OnStar button

I posted a rant in the rants and raves personals section of the New York Craigslist. I ranted about the disgrace that is the MTA's adjudication bureau and their handling of my summons. Here's a reply I received in my inbox.

all the homeless niggers laying across 5 seats never get summonsed, summons are for working people with proper id etc.

not for the homelss or illegal immigrants

He's right. I'll leave New York to the flying rats, the terrestrial rats, and all the awesome people that will still live here when I'm gone. The rest of the jerks can eat guano.

"...I have drunk your wine/
you have made your world mine/
so won't you be fair..."
Cat Stevens (when he was still Cat Stevens) on Trouble

Today I'm feeling:

hot

As in the air up there is uncomfortable.

29k testes

Took a test today. It was a civil service exam in Suffolk County, New York. It's the first step towards becoming a police officer. The irony right? Obviously, if I did well, they'll get wind of the fact that I've got this outstanding unpaid fine for walking between train cars in Brooklyn so I'll never actually get a piece of the law enforcement action. But I must say, Suffolk County certainly strengthened my faith in people!

On the drive there, being the gentleman that I am, I took two fellow Brooklynites with me. They too want a piece of that $50+K to start salary they pay. It rises to nearly 100K in 5 years if you don't get a promotion. Neither of them have cars. We tested at three separate test sites though. And the test was supposed to start at 9am for the 3 of us. So I was ferrying us around. I was zooming on that there highway too. And then, at the exact exit I was to get off, parking lot! The highway was brake light heaven. Nothing. The clock pressed on. Eventually I hit the shoulder and took it to the Southbound exit (I'd still be waiting to cross the bridge to the Northbound exit). When I got out, more jam. The three car accident that caused all of this was atrocious. Just offensive at how brutally these cars were mashed up.

By the time I got the first guy to his test site, it was 9:06am. I made him ask an official if he'd be permitted to start and to our elation they were letting people in until 9:30! I dropped off my other friend at his test site at 9:14 and got to my test at 9:28am! Way to go Suffolk County! If'n you decide it right that I should be one of your police officers, with this preliminary encounter with the way you do things out there, I'd gladly take you up on it.

"...I met this one bitch, told me it's a hundred to hump and 50 dollars just to test the head/
sheesh, you kidding me? I could go to Church's and get a cheaper chicken with bigger breasts and legs..."
Sean J on Hit it for free by the Field Mob

Today I'm feeling:

hungrier than a mofo!

This shit is for the birds.

Thoughts in thinking

Grass

What a great "thinking" photo!

Why is it that at every G8 summit, there are always some white protesters in blond dreads running around and making the front page of the newspaper?

Ameritel cellphone ad:

Abnormal call patterns: Call duration and/or your continued eligibility for any rate plan may be limited to or terminated for (a) consumer protection purposes or (b) abusive conduct or abnormal call pattern(s).

What the F?!?!?

"Your favorite band sucks!"
T-Shirt as seen in the East Village, NYC

"...don't blame me when little Eric jumps over the terrace/
you should've been watching him, apparently you ain't parents..."
Eminem on Who knew

Today I'm feeling:

like a fucking foreigner

Fuck the law!

Today I went to defend myself in front of an adjudication officer against a summonse I received accusing me of walking between train cars. I've witnessed people walk between train cars every time I ride the train. I've seen Chinese slaves peddle bootleg DVDs and AA batteries so they could buy their freedom walk between cars. I've seen black teenagers selling candy without a vending license walk between cars. I've seen two twins put their huge Filene's Basement shopping bags on the seat, covering enough real estate for two fat American asses. The train was crowded and their action was indeed illegal. I've seen a ton of illegal shit. sometimes perpetrated in front of police (like the young white girl walk right between cars on the J train in front of the white police officer who merely stood there and didn't even glance her way). But I get summonsed and the fine gets upheld. I even brought my 67 year old mother with declining memory in to help argue my case, and the adjudication officer accuses her of contriving testimony.

I love New York City, but I take dumb shit like this personally. Was the black officer being racist? Probably, he marked down, on my summons, that I'm Hispanic. Maybe he has something against Hispanics. Whether I'm Hispanic or not is moot. The fact of the matter is, I no longer have respect for New York City's administration. Be it law, or otherwise. The people here without agendas, something to prove or some sort of authority are fucking awesome. The best. But this city has proven to me on several occasions that it no longer wants me. So fuck a New York City.

I'll never pay $75 for a $2 subway ride. I'm not a criminal. The MTA can suck my dick.

The fine was upheld. But they can uphold these nuts.

My mother says you can't blame anyone for hating America.

Happy birthday Prince.

"Slap a white boy, snuff your landlord/
smash a window, break the camcord/
rob the corner store, bomb the precinct/
choke a C.O., stab a D.T."
Stic, on Fuck the law by Dead Prez

Today I'm feeling:

without wind in my sails

Still though, something blows

Yuck

Street Fair, East Village, NYC

Though June doesn't seem to be another April, it sure isn't as nice as May. I smell fodder in the air.

I read that luck is the residue of logic. I don't remember who quoted it, but in my logic, the residue is quite bad. Yucky.

It's supposed to be 90 here in the city on Friday. I see it as another day to feel as though I'm walking through butter. Yucky.

To update you all on my dealings as a teacher of English as a second language, boss lady is leaving and she sent around another mass email telling us that her replacement is one of the administrators that everyone knows. Cool dude, I must say. But he most likely is privy to knowledge of boss lady's stand-off against yours truly. I've also been given another sub gig for a quarter day (which is worth the subway fare, so I'll take it). Should I approach homeboy on that day? What should I say, if anything?

"...your raps' all lazy/
Jigga, the black Scorcese/
what your album lack is more Jay-Z..."
Jay-Z on Pregame by Sauce Money

Today I'm feeling:

congenial to the world

But the world hates me.

Red bull!

What the f?!?!

I think I got caught running a red light. Those "hidden" red light cameras in New York City have always had me a little nervous. The thing is you never run one of these things on purpose. It's always a pothole in the street right before the intersection that distracts you while the light turns yellow and you find yourself accelerating as the thing turns red! It's always something. I think, however, that I had entered the intersection before the light turned though. The thing is, the cameras read your speed first, then if it sees you're going too fast to stop for the light it takes a picture of your car and the red light at the intersection. I have a hunch that it's tied to the calibration of the stop light. I think when the light turns yellow, and it has decided that it is going to snap your picture, it makes the light change just as it predicts you'd be entering the intersection. Sometimes, it even holds the yellow light longer just to tempt you into the intersection. It's such a fucking farce. I hate the system. I fucking hate the system.

This game of life is a frustrating endeavor.

"...for some reason, my lines make thugs stronger/
blow guns and fuck for two hours longer..."
Tragedy on What makes you think

Today I'm feeling:

dark blue

Like I could use a hint of cranberry... in a bucket of Vodka.

What!?!?

Eyes on Darfur, up and running!

So I've been back at the teaching thing for just a couple days. I subbed on Friday, and here I am for one mo' 'gin on Monday. So on Friday I had a lil question for boss lady. Apparently, my lil cubby was relabeled and was no longer mine. I just wanted some of my shit I kept in it. So boss lady was chattin' up one of the new teachers she's hired since I've been sitting at home awaiting work. When she was done, or pausing or just plainly not saying shit anymore, I peeked in to ask my question and she, seemingly provoked, asked "WHAT?!"

Son of a bitch! Preceding this turn of events, I emailed her on the Friday before Memorial Day asking her if she'd be so kind as to give me a nice reference seeing as how I was trained by them folk (which cost them money and time) and what kind of reference would they give me. Now, the thing with that is I made it clear that I wanted to stay put, but they just refused to give me any work. So the sub gig popped up like bad timing. I scooped it up quite quick. Then another one came my way. Still, I received no reply to my email. Sugary. I figured she'd speak with me when I came in, in person. No dice; she barely looked my way. What the F!?

So check this shit out. I get a mass email from boss lady now telling me that she's leaving the end of the week or month or what have you. She also mentioned some bullshit about sincerely enjoying working with all of us. Clearly it's bullshit because she railroaded me. But what do I make of this now. Should I use them as a reference now? Should I not? Should I wait for the new boss person is installed and ask for a course? How should I go about this? What gives?

Oh the myriad questions.

"...yo, when I'm on stage rhymin'/
I forget what state that I'm in/
the bitches numbers I lost, my baby mama find 'em/
I played the lottery, 40 million that day/
I probably won the motherfucker but I forgot that I played..."
Redman on Jersey Yo!

Today I'm feeling:

groggy

I think I was supposed to do some stuff today and just didn't have to energy to remember much less do them.

Number crunchin'

T-Shirt in store window in NoHo

The remnants of what was once Tropical Storm Barry came to pay us a visit. New York is good that way. We get a lot of bad weather, but you never hear much of the weather in New York other than that it's bad. I think we like it that way.

What the F?!?

I have a Nintendo Wii, right. Now, I waited in line at Target in Danbury, CT for 36 hours leading up to the stores' opening on November 17th to buy a Playstation 3 in order to afford my Nintendo Wii. The Playstation 3, at $600, sold for $1200. I paid back the $600 plus tax to my credit card and took the profit and bought a Nintendo Wii, some accessories and games. But the darned controls on the thing actually eats through AA batteries like a little fat girl eats through pork filled breakfast sandwiches at McDonalds. So I'm just thinking to myself that before it actually becomes obsolete, my Nintendo Wii will cost me more than a Playstation 3 (whose controllers have rechargeable internal batteries). So much for being a profiteer.

"...emcees run away when I kick it/
they so chicken/
they should come with a large drink and a biscuit..."
Canibus on Buckingham Palace

Today I'm feeling:

broke and getting broker

If money grew on trees, I'd live in the Ténéré.

Photo foe, faux

Sorry about not keeping up here.

The Rubin Museum was the latest stop on my tour here in NYC. It's actually a nice place. The ambiance is conducive to enjoying art and most of the top floor was dedicated to photography. Plus it's free on Friday evenings.

That photo is the paramount reason I'm running low on photos for you all. Museums aren't too keen anymore, on letting museum goers, much like myself, take photos. Overhearing a curator or employee of some kind at the Rubin chastise a man who took a photo, the reason apparently, is due to the fact that the temporary exhibitions are proprietary property and I'm guessing they feel you taking your own personal picture compromises the host museum's ability to make money. But then that begs the question, why can you take pictures of the permanent collection at the host museum, though not when it's on loan? Quirky situation, indeed.

Sorry if that point wasn't so well written.

"...so please, yo/
I'm from the killer cap of the kilos/
where niggas clap and fat bitches get yapped for their Cheetos..."
AZ on Can't Stop

Today I'm feeling:

disconnected

Really, I have no recollection of the day's events

101

You know how some people have bad days? I'm having a bad lifetime.

Don't get me wrong, I love the subway. It's part of the reason why New York City can be so amazing. I just hate the people who work in the subway. And no, I'm not talking about the subway performers or the people who bust theirs to keep it clean. I hate the indignant people with any kind of authority or power in the subway whose job it is to make you a miserable automaton; the police and token booth clerks, being prime examples. I've run across a miserable token booth clerk who really took the cake in Toronto a couple years back. For that experience alone I'll try and fix things so I'll never be back to that crap hole of a city. So I can imagine the impression our token booth clerks give to visitors of New York. I'm telling you, they are the worst.

So there was a system wide issue that made it so that none of the Metrocard vending machines in the city could take credit or debit cards. I had no cash and the token booths just don't accept credit or debit either. So I was shit out of luck and my whole day was fouled up. You'd figure the token booth clerks would have enough compassion and let a broke man without a shred of cash through. Instead they insisted I look for a cash advance or some dumb shit, which would cost me more than a ride on the subway, to get some fucking cash. How crass? I asked two separate clerks in the subways stations I visited, and they both thought helping me was below them. But I remember who they are, what they look like and their disposition. Not that I know they'll get what's coming to them, but if I'm ever in a position to help these two individuals, they'll get reminded of this cruel misdeed of theirs.

Not likely to happen, I know. But this is a grudge I'm keen on holding.

"...and I know I shouldn't be drinking on an empty stomach/
but the flyer said open bar, I said 'fuck it'..."
M1 of Dead Prez on Fucked up

Today I'm feeling:

Like I've got a bone to pick

Fuck a meanie!