Quotation Marcs

I caught myself giggling ferociously to myself only moments ago. I work for Canadians now. That means instead of working at 7:30am SHARP, I work at "10am". Which means, show up at 10am if you'd like to hang out for a few, first. So I aerate lawns for this chap named Marc. Endearing fellow, really, but quite obnoxious is what he all boils down to. You have to be. See, Marc sells his craft door to door. Porte a porte. Door-to-door sales is a bitch and only the most immune and obnoxious persevere and excel. That's Marc. Anyway, Marc is young and lazy by American standards. So he says I have to be there at 10am, but we never start doing ANYthing until 10:25am at the earliest.

So I went looking for a new gig. And I got one. I got a landscaping gig. The lady calls me bright and early one morning and asks me to come down. I wipe the cold out of my eye and say "ppffftttt, no." So she calls back and got me to come in today. 7:30am she said in the email. I get there at 7:15am. She had this dust-up with the previous help because the guy showed an hour or so late. I'm thinking "that's appropriate, no?" I mean, for Montreal, anyways. Right, so I get there early and shit, only to lallygag until 7:45. Fuckers! I'm there and they're back-to-back chain smoking, Ron and Anika. Funny thing, at 7:40, just before Ron and I take to the road, Anika tells me she doesn't drink, partly because she's pregnant. I now know why Canadians are so flaky and late.

Ron must've burned through 2 or 3 packs of nicotine sticks the nine hours we spent today. My chest is burning. 1 more day. 1 more day.

Why are you doing this to me, O'Canada? And your ladies, hot as they are...? Are they flakers too? This one lady I know is soooooooo lazy. And the yoga teacher, is on a different speed altogether. By right, she gets high praise for not canceling on me. We hung out two or three times. But that's where Canadian reliability ends. Maybe her folks just never smoked while pregnant with her?

'Cause EVERYONE else here does (smoke). They really could use a couple of those New York State Smokers' Quitline commercials. Actually, I'm certain these folks sit around all day and watch television.

Anyway, I'm down on Canadian people, but not yet down on Canada. Besides the flaking and the smoking this place has amazing potential. Unfortunately, I just may have to debride the losers surrounding me.