Schpielberg

Just got back from a day in the field. I mean, since that's what I'm calling it. It's so funny. I met up with a couple trying to get this game of ultimate frisbee going. And the woman asks me what I do. And I give her my schpiel about how I'm an artist, but the type that creates art she'd never understand. She took me seriously. Even after I explained that I'm not really an artist. Even after I told her that I sometimes teach English.. I should have ran with it. Then told her my story of how I once saved 13 kittens from a burning building in Toledo. Or was it Wheeling? Like I'd know, it never really happened.

So that's what I've decided to do. Invent scenarios that paint me more ambitiously and fascinatingly.

In the end, we didn't get to play much frisbee. Moral of the story, if you're going to lie about who you are, make it interesting. Make it interesting.

"Love is like cheese, it stinks."
Something I thought about saying to Maykin, until I thought better of it.

Today I'm feeling:

good like you wouldn't understand

Great timing. I think things are much worse than they seem. Things around me, of late, are wrought with such good timing. I can't complain... for the immediate future. Wouldn't mind getting my car fixed though.

Shot love

Contrasts

My dawg Maykin has been restless for the past couple weeks. Every weekend he'd come down to Brooklyn from his homestead in Washington Heights, and want us to hang out. That's cool, because I had a low Maykin diet for maybe the last year or so. Maybe even longer. 2 years and change, actually. We were close. Not close as your left and right leg, but close nonetheless. So, I should have read the writings on the wall. I was busy just writing in my blog and dealing with my own plethora of contemplatables. But all the while, Maykin was stewing. His now regular friendship was unnoticed. And it culminated a couple days prior when he told me he and his fiancé had called it quits. I'm sure this isn't the first time they'd broken up. But this time is peculiar, particularly because of Maykin's actions. Only, I needed to see them in hindsight to notice how peculiar his actions actually were. See that? I'm trying a little alliteration. Haven't quite mastered it, but I'm gungho about giving it a go. Back to Maykin and Bernice. They've been in one another's pocket for 4 years and it's bit sharp when he just told me she's not listening to him even though he tried to get back on her good side. I'm wondering what was going on these previous weeks where'd he'd come by and want to chill. Where's his mind? What happened? What's happening? They lived together, in her mom's apartment. I know it's a real deal break up because he's moving out. Now the brain gears are churning. Was Bernice and her mom just tired of Maykin? He's in school, and trying hard to make something of himself. That and he works full time. He's also on the verge of landing a gig on the police force. Did they really think he took to long to situate his "family"? Or was it something else? Maykin tells me she decided to become Christian now and doesn't want Maykin to hang out at clubs or do this and that, as he puts it. I'm trying to fill in the blanks here. I know too well how these things fall apart but I'm too far removed from it this time. I've walked into the sunset.

So Maykin's birthday was yesterday. He was supposed to call me and we were going to go to a strip club or some shit like that. Now I'm really not a fan of giving women my money like that (or like anyway for that matter unless a bitch is having a birthday or it's Christmas or some shit), so I'm glad he didn't call. But he called today asking to drink and play pool. Like I've got a job or work in the morning, and I can only imagine how fucked up his head might be, but like the vast majority of wishy washy friends in my circle, he said he'd call me back and I'm not counting on him. What I'm prepared to do, however, is get to the bottom of this (if he does call). Then I've got to console the bro. 'Cause bros need TLC too.

"Always I'm in some shit/
my abdomen's my clip, the barrel's my dick/
uncircumsized, pull my skin back and cock me/
I bust of when they unlock me/
results of what happens to niggas shock me..."
Nas on I gave you power

Today I'm feeling:

Contemplative

Air Gut

Met with Su again yesterday. This while it rained cats and dogs. She remembered the high school cafe barista and suggested that I go back to see her and give her my phone number. Su even remembered her name! It was the first thing she said to me. Was this on her mind for that past few days? I couldn't believe it. Apparently, she's never seen Chris Hanson's How to catch a predator series. But seriously, I didn't even have the chick on my mind since I wrote up that blog post. I was actually looking forward to meeting a lesbian, with short, highlighted hair, coveralls, Converse and freckles. Maybe she could be like my lesbian friend. I was probably more thinking about the fat butt white chick I saw twice the other day around Union Square. I was thinking about every chick but this high schooler. Is it really that bad that my tutee recommends I continue to hit on high schoolers. I have to laugh at myself for that one.

And I missed another one. Glorious. It rained so fucking hard for Brooklyn; this was seriously abnormal. The rain pounded the streets so quickly, the place seemed like it was suffering a flash flood. So as I was driving, the streets turned gray with turbulent water, splashing and kicking around like violence itself. And the scene was beautiful. A hard fall rain, with cute girls in galoshes and people in short sleeves clutching umbrellas. The gray seemed to rise 3 or 4 feet off the ground. It's hard to describe, but leaving my camera at home is really costing me some opportunities here. It was a moment to savor.

" "So, what do you do for a living?" asked the Infinite Spirit.
"Well," answered the Cemetery Girl, "I lie to myself and suffer." "
This on some art-o-matic machine at the Whitney Museum.

I don't know what the fuck it means, but it was off beat and I had to capture it.

Today I'm feeling:

gassy

Foibles

Nike advertising on the subway

So October 9th was John Lennon's birthday. I spent the day imagining. Actually, the great Snoop Dogg also put together a great track featuring Dr. Dre and D'Angelo, also called Imagine.

Freckles, everyday becoming more and more feckless, told me that Sweden is the third most musical country in the world. Though I don't believe that "musical" is quantifiable, I did get a kick out of her trying to defend that it (Sweden) is.

Ooooh, and today I missed a masterpiece!!! It would have been my BEST photo yet. So exciting. I enjoyed the image. Probably even more than I would have if I had my camera with me. I wasn't focusing on capturing it on an SD card. Instead, I burned it into my memory. It was of the Empire State Building, from the vantage point of 21st Street and 5th Avenue. This was a little later than a quarter pass 7 in the pm. The building was shrouded in fog. The top of it was lit a smoky fluorescent. Following its silhouette down about a score stories, it had a more incandescent hue. In the foreground, a street lamp exuded a very contrasting, London drear-esque warmth. Contrary to have a dreary image impart warmth, I know, but you had to be there. It was altogether enchanting.

"Music is like magic/
there's a certain feeling you get/
when you real and you spit and people are feeling your shit/
this is your moment and every single minute you spin/
trying to hold on to it 'cause you may never get it again/
so while you're in it, try to get as much shit as you can/
and when your run is over just admit when it's at its end"
Eminem on 'Til I collapse

Today I'm feeling:

like nothing's bothering me

This is why I'm not!

Most fun? Creating an Ahmedinijad profile on JDate.
Least fun? Having your friend crash your motherfucking car!!!!

Yes folks. That's what I'm up to now. Having to price and find the cheapest shoddiest body work for my car. Never, ever, ever allow someone who continue to insist on driving your car... drive your car. Not mad though. Only wiser. Only wiser.

"'cause like the news, everyday you get pressed"
Amy Winehouse on Fuck me pumps

Today I'm feeling:

impressed, very impressed

Chicha

I just peeped my boy G-Dub getting it in!

I just saw on CNN that bad breath is a symptom of tonsillitis.

Alright, so on Wednesday I caught an episode of my dudette Sarah Silverman. This bitch rocks as evidenced by the fucking hard on I caught when she first stepped on screen. Damn, did I just admit that? Pit i ful. Fuck it. It's true. I think I want to date a lesbian with highlighted cropped hair, who wears coveralls and Converse. My dream broad.

"Come into this world alone/
leave this world alone"
Steele of Smiff n Wesson on Dry Snitch

I've quoted that lyric before but it's worth repeating.

Also, I just heard this track by Kanye West talking about his "big brother" who was B.I.G.'s brother. Plain awesomeness.

Today I'm feeling:

pretty slick

I spoke to a chick with freckles. It's going to be my new fetish. I'm going berserk here.

D.I.L.F.

So I was again in DUMBO to tutor Su. Actually, I had another appointment to tutor my other tutee an hour earlier. She had train troubles and had to cancel. But at this café, I saw the sweetest, most beautiful thing. She was so adorable and I had to talk to her. So, I waited until the café was closing up and went to the counter (she's the counter girl) and asked if they were closed (duh). She asked what I wanted, I'm assuming they might have had a pastry lying around or some coffee left. And I told her I actually just wanted an excuse to get her name. And the oddest thing happened. She blushed and laughed and smiled and smiled. And I was like, "is she for real?" all puzzled and shit. I should have known. By this time, Su had long shown and had encouraged me to go talk to her. Without Su, I doubt I would have said anything. Really. I swear it. So boom, trying desperately to not make a fool of myself I proceed to talk. I ask her how often she's there and does she go to school only to find out she does! Man, I almost asked her what school she goes to when something told me to ask her if she goes to college. Little Ms. Hottie goes to high school. Insert sad face here. I took wings and flew away, almost asap! I did tell her that she's the sweetest thing though.

So, the consequence? Well, first, Su did say, afterwards, that she had the feeling Ms. Sweetest Thing Hottie was too young. I was a smidge perturbed she didn't express this feeling earlier. But also, I realized an older woman wouldn't have been as intrigued or delighted by my come on. It was honest, I really did just want to talk to her and get her name. And I really did think she is the sweetest thing. But had I felt the same of a woman more my age, the response would have been no where near the gratuitous one I received from Ms. Sweetest Thing. Oy Vey. So what am I to conclude? I missed the boat. I'm old; almost thirty. Don't have a job either. Don't have too much of a future. Ain't really got any talents. And the women my age don't take me seriously. I missed the boat. Ah well. I guess I should see it as their loss.

Maybe I'll hit the lotto. Then I'll hang out outside a high school and pick me up a woman?

I'm being facetious.

"I heard you fags wanna catch me off guard, put tefs in my heart/
the death of Escobar under your breath, whispers in the dark/
I hear 'cause the street ain't loyal to choose sides/
prepare for the beef, whoever lose dies/
rich and I'm thuggin', I can't trust nothing/
this bitch that I'm fucking, this clip that I'm busting/
could jam in my fist, look at my hand/
finger pussy, walk, spend some rings, cut coke cookies/
wrote poetry and broke noses B..."
Nas on B Ez by Capone and Noreaga

One of the most underrated rap verses ever.

Today I'm feeling:

prime

Though I'm probably pass it.