Ten fold

The Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center in NYC

I interviewed the other day for a job I thought I'd actually like. But I blew it. I received a text message in the interview as well as spewed an expletive. Yuck. Actually, I think that was quite uncharacteristic of me. But I acknowledge that there's no way I deserve that gig. So onward and perhaps downward I say!

The thing is, it's quite depressing to be so flippin' worthless, and although I realized that I'm worthless a long time ago, it still boggles the mind that every so often I still try. And when I fail, which by nature is inevitable, I get wholly depressed. Like I wasn't depressed to begin with. So I took a very much lesser job to occupy my mind for a couple weeks. In the process I will up my miserable quotient maybe ten fold. And then I'll use the proceeds to help pay for some long over due body work on my automobile. And this all blows.

Today I'm feeling:

on the periphery