I'm alright

Fractured artwork at the Cloisters

Another maelstrom Monday. Actually, it's a pretty uneventful day (the few minutes into it that it took me to write this). Yes, my month is up! Finally. I endured idiot move after idiot move, and the whole flu thing, during a very tumultuous 30. I invite May into my life with open arms.

By the way, I think I got canned at work too!

Still, I've met gobs of folks. Folks who all look at life a little different from one another and a lot different from me. I've grown to know others more, and understand them too. If I'd have to salvage anything from the month of April, it's the couple bonds I've strengthened with those who offered me salves and ointments in the form of their ears and shoulders.

"And when you're holding me, we're like a pair of parentheses."
The Blow on Parentheses

Sorry, can't get that song out my gray matter.

April still sucked lizard scrotum!

Today I'm feeling:

anxious for May flowers and shit

Talk to me, y'alls. (By the way, the title is a pun)

The lone parentheses

Me outside the Cloisters, Fort Tryon Park, NYC

I got flaked on for my Cloisters trip yesterday but being the NYC tourist I just so happen to be, I went anyway; all by my lonesome (as I usually do). I did know that I was going to be flaked on from a couple days ago. And, to tell the honest truth, I'm used to it. I've been stood up more times than a tripod over the past couple years. It's common place.

But, as you can see... I did get to experiment with some creative photography. That's me! Whaddya think? Like the water bottle in the foreground (absolutely done on purpose to play with depth perception)? Should I have tried it in black and white or sepia? I was thinking the overcast and glare filled sky would prove stark enough so that I wouldn't have to try other effects. Just thinking out loud here.

I took motherfucking lemons and made lemon-motherfucking-ade.

Fire at will! Who's Will?

Today I'm feeling:

the urge to rock out on a basketball court

No seriously, even if ballers don't show I could still work on some things. Go yonder... or comment.

A Caveman could do it!

Buenos Aires, April, 2006

The Blow are playing in New York in May. They actually play for free at Bard College on the 14th. Unfortunately, I have a basketball game that night.

Such is the nature of the beast.
Anonymous

I lose! I usually do. I'm just:

waiting for the other shoe to drop
Anonymous

Dangerous Wade! That boy is serious. But the Baby Bulls managed to put him on the brink in the House of Shaq. What a beautiful game.

If I remember correctly, the cabs in that picture run on clean natural gas. They can go from one end of the country (Argentina) to the other on about US$30 worth of fuel. Their engines don't have as much power, but they run farther on far less.

I can clean my Mazda! It'll probably be what I do today if I don't get around to hitting the Cloisters. In December I gave out my Dirt Devil for repair and refused to pay the 75¢ to use the vacuums at the car wash/gas station. 5 Months later, the repair place calls me and when I get there they hand me a brand new one. Does this advocate the slow and deep? Slow and deep. Hmmm?

Today I'm feeling:

like life is my holding cell and Samuel Adams is my bail bondsman

In reality, you should all let ambition be your bail bondsman. Speak on it.

Sometimes...

A breezy day at Central Park, NYC in early April

Good timing leads to encounters with good people. The right people at the right time.
Sean Luxembourg, April 2007

So Wednesday night found me at Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg, Brooklyn for their weekly "quizz off." Insanely hard questions for the insanely geeky types. A good time was had by all. I'll undoubtedly be back if I find a quizz off partner to come with!

Been brushing up on my "come hither" voice lately too. I've been told it's pretty good. But I'm not bragging. All I've got to say is "come hither."

Overheard at McDonald's:
Little boy 1: "I wish we were girls."
Little boy 2: "Ill! Girls are nasty!!"

I love girls. The petite feminine ones in particular. They wear the cutest tiny clothes. Next to mine I feel gargantuan. I can't believe my shoes are that big next to hers! Wow, my hand dwarfs hers (yet somehow they fit so perfectly together, her hand and mine). I think I prefer an adorable girl to a sexy girl. Sexy girls have an air of superiority about them that competes with my fucking ego. You dumb bitch, you're okay but no one cares that you're hot. Adorable girls tend to be understated. You dumb bitch... awe, how could I ever be mad at you? Of course I like your crop cut. It suits you so.

We told you I'm not schizophrenic.

Today I'm feeling:

placated

And today you're going to comment on how you're feeling.

The "tingle"

It took about two days for my rabbit grave to explode with life. Check out my soon to be red azalea and my rich, purple, and young rhododendron.

On the subject of driving: ladies and gentlemen, I drive a Mazda (pronounced Meh-zzduh) and it's obvious my driving is not for the faint of heart. But I'm one with my Mazda and we take curves like bitches' good reputations. I say this all because I met my quasi Buddhist friend last night. She was a little un-Buddhist-esque about my maneuvering. But, my Mazda driving is pure Zen and I just needed to get that off my chest.

I'm currently listening to: Drive Slow (remix) by T.I. featuring Kanye West, Paul Wall and some other cat whose name I'll never remember, especially not at a quarter to 3 in the am.

And oh yeah, the "tingle" thing. Inside joke. Both literally and figuratively.

Today I'm feeling:

the warm fuzziness of a graceful presence

Thanks lil homie. Now comment, y'all.

Schizo-frantic

Central Park, 8/2006

Sitting at home all day running through some chores. Yesterday I gave the bathroom a little cleaning and today I got some vacuuming done. And I'll probably do a little more when I'm done typing this up. See, my issue is I don't have shit to do. And to be quite honest, I love it. Last night I had another engrossing chat with my quasi Buddhist friend and I made plans to hit the Cloisters on Saturday. I feel artsy. Maybe I should challenge myself to bake cupcakes at 3:35am.

Oh, and one last goodie! Mexico City, the world's largest, has just legalized it! No, not that, silly! Abortion. The Mexican uterus will never be the same (and I mean that in the most pro-abortion way possible). Go libertarians, go! Smart move boys.

Today I'm feeling:

like I could go for some Dairy Queen

Thoughts, comments? I'm not schizophrenic (yes we are).

...

More from Sam's Point, NY

Today I stood up for my rights. I felt the spirit of Bob Marley coursing through my veins. I think the system felt the spirit of bureaucracy coursing through its annals. To be continued...

I met a Buddhist on Sunday and spoke with a quasi one for 4+ hours this morning. We (the Buddhists and I) seem highly compatible. My sheer ability to tolerate these two individuals for hours is proof positive enough. I've got a couple of readings to get through on the matter and we'll see if there is anything inspiring therein. 'Till then I'll continue my agnostic ways. I'm just saying...

That whole photo above just says "..." to me. It's a dreamer's photo, no? The sun, infinite landscape, and an inspiration provoking horizon give rise to the thought "go." I should attempt to legally change my name to the verb "To Go." Alas, there's a country in Africa called Togo. So that's a no go. Unless that's where I went. This is like that Robert Frost poem. Okay, I'm going to cut the dry babble short right here.

Revolution = Evolution
bumper sticker as seen in the East Village, NYC

Today I'm feeling:

like the well rested insomniac who, coincidentally, daydreams

And to that you say?

Happy birthday Su

Sukyung

The above pictured Korean is actually pretty fluent in English, as far as most of the Koreans I've come across recently go (and I've come across plenty, easily approaching 100 in the past couple years). She's also the workaholic that has me reevaluating the way I want to see and do things. But, just so you get the picture, she's holding up a Starbucks gift card, a cup of black iced coffee (with not even a half packet of sugar) with a 5" Vienna Moka "birthday" cake. The girl is wired for her 12 hour sessions at SVA's lab.

Today I'm feeling:

cheery

That's all.

Ruminating on a Sunday

It'd be perfect if, no matter where I am, Brooklyn was always 2-4 minutes away!

Today I'm feeling:

lots

and it's all tickling my fancy for the moment

Engrish

Asian footwear. Made by Asians and, ironically, worn by Asians.

The amazing weather has returned!!!

I didn't do a museum or any of that shit, but I did... nothing. It was good. Also, I planted up my rabbit grave! I put a red azalea and a purple rhodendra up in that bitch.

Shit's functioning.

Avec moi, bitches!

My apologies for the gratuitous profanity today.

Today I'm feeling:

the need for decaf

What up?!?!?

4/20

Goshen, New York

There you go! I found a grassy knoll for your admiration. I hope yours was a holiday filled with much intoxication...

Nothing beats psychedelics.

Today I'm feeling:

dry

So... did'ya go overboard on the greenery?

I'd like to move...

...out of this country, and stay!

Or not. My mind has been playing with crazy ideas. Tinkering with thoughts, essentially. Just idle notions of finding something I'd absolutely love to do. Even if the pay is peanuts. I want something I'm crazy about!!! Something I could almost obsess over. Maybe that'd make me happy. It'd make everyone happy. My moods, as it stands, need altering. I get cooked food and I can easily wash my dirty drawers, but something is missing. I guess life isn't all warm meals and clean skimpies.

Is "skimpies" the right word?

Any thoughts on careers? What makes you happy?

Today I'm feeling:

like this life is a crap shoot

When've you been at your happiest? Do tell!

Cold and lonely

More art from the Met

I suppose these are good times. April 2K7 finds me fabulously single, in the world's premiere metropolis and broke. They don't even trust me at work anymore (I've been remanded back to training). But I can't shake the feeling like this rotten oyster I had the misfortune to crack open is still mine...

Today I'm feeling:

drained

And I can't explain whysies!

Cover me!

Medieval armor on display at the Met

Now, in case you've yet to notice, I don't take current events and run with them. Not in a serious sense anyway. When I talk about a current event, I usually do it in a tongue in cheek manner with sarcastic overtones days after the story breaks.

So take no offense when I let you know that I'm down with raucous radio DJs and chemically imbalanced Korean gunmen. They're good people and don't deserve to be villainized in the media. But don't take my word for it.

Today I'm feeling:

like I'm approaching alright

Don't shoot the messenger
anonymous

Monday Marauding

I don't know why I'm still so very, very weak. It appears the flu has yet to fully run its course. I'm doing my best to catch up, but do you ever get the feeling that you'll always just be a day behind?

My infatuation with Chairman Mao came to an abrupt end today as I borrowed The Private life of Chairman Mao at the library. It appears he had a very robust private life. The book's so thick, I could use it to barricade my door from unwieldy marauding Korean gunmen.

What Made Milwaukee Famous' Selling yourself short; not a bad listen.

Today I'm feeling:

stuck

Unstick me brethren (and sisthren, coincidentally).

Nor'eastin'

Lindemann's Lambics, they go well in wine flutes

'Tis one of those days. Actually, today qualifies:

Reason why New York City is the best place on the planet #142.
Shake Shack during an April Nor'easter.

Grand stuff!

Today I'm feeling:

still weak

Comments?

Love, peace and nappiness

Cornrowed African art at the Met

Now that the whole Imus thing has completely blown over, let's quietly discuss it! Actually, it wasn't my intent to wait it out first, but I had that ferocious influenza thing taking my body by storm. But seriously, was it just me, or should the only group of people with the nerve enough to take any offense out of what the man might have said the Scarlet Knights of Rutgers women's basketball team? If I do recollect, he said they were unattractive. That has little to do with them being Black, women, or Al Sharpton. And furthermore, in this country we used to have the protections of free speech. I'm just saying. Imus, though not my favorite radio personality, should still have a job. I call people who may or may not be very intelligent, well rounded folks nappy headed hoes all the time. Imus clearly wasn't bashing women, as he had the wherewith all to call the Tennessee Lady Volunteers attractive! And that team has Black players on it too! And the Rutgers team has White women players. So it couldn't ever be a racially charged statement either. It was just sincerely an opinion as to the perception, by Don Imus, of beauty possessed by the members of two championship basketball teams.

Today I'm feeling:

nappy headed

You?

Take the deal?

Uptown's business card

So this guy on the street the other day tried to sell me some sneakers. He only had Nike Air Force One's in all black and all white. And for the price he was peddling them for, they probably fell off the back of the truck somewhere. He called himself Uptown, which is the same name us New Yorkers affectionately call Air Force One's. Anyway.

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
Nietzsche

Today I'm feeling:

feckless

And you my brethren?

Love conquers all...

Medieval art at the Met, supposedly Cupid atop a raging beast

'cept the plague! Thursday caught me with the same fricasseeing fever. My brains were getting watery. Then I got an email from work! They found teachers to take over my classes and I won't be back to work for another week, lest I get fired when I call in on Monday. Sigh. A week of freedom! The irony of it all. Should I thank the flu, or forsake it further?

Today I'm feeling:

the languishing effects of death's choke hold

But, like a greased pig, I'm hard to kill. It's a gift and a curse. What can I say? What can you say?!

Hump Day hell!

Mao at the Met

That's my boy Mao. Man of the people. The working man's man. The proletariat's pro. I dug deep and summoned my inner communist today and went to work, though I was cooking on the inside. Managed to fulfill most of my duties at the place of employment too. But still, I'm sicker than a pedophile at a Chuckie Cheese birthday party.

Today I'm feeling:

a dose of death

Ouch!

Please help me, someone!

Kate!

I am in terrible pain. This is probably the second worst pain I've ever felt. I think this is influenza and I never thought it was actually this bad... but it's pretty fucked up. So, I'll leave you with a picture that brings me a great deal of joy while I try to catch up in posts and health. It's my kitty Kate and she'll be 13 or 14 this year. She was born during the O.J. trial and we named her after Kato Kaelin (who was named after Bruce Lee's character from the Green Hornet television series).

Today I'm feeling:

like griddle cakes

No, not like I could have some but that I feel flipped and flattened just like 'em. What say you?

Sick Day

My first tutee, Jae Seok, and his wife Ji Young in Europe somewhere

This morning I woke up to a 102.2 fever. I felt like I was hit by a Daewoo. For that I even wanted to take the day off from blogging.

Today I'm feeling:

like mess hall mush

Comments?

Happy Easter

Sculpture and view courtesy of the 6th Avenue sidewalk at Bryant Park, NYC

This game is inspiring! I mean the plot is superb. Most of us slaves will sympathize.

I bought some beer that you drink out of a champagne glass. It's a lambic infused with black cherry. They had the raspberry, peach, and black currant. I'd have preferred the cranberry, but I think I'll enjoy the one I got all the same.

Nothing interesting to report today. The idiots are taking a few hours off. The house still smells putrid. And I'm going to step out the door in about 30 minutes to hit the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I hear it's immense and it'll take me the whole day and I still might not see it all. But... only in New York can you do a major museum on Easter Sunday!

Today I'm feeling:

on the groggy side

And yourself?

Mega idiots or millions?

The dear Mahatma at Union Square, NYC

And the idiot parade continues. Yesterday morning, at a little past 3 in the am, my brother decides to cook some beef. The dumb fuck falls asleep and nearly burns the place down. By the time I wake up, the whole place is filled with smoke and is stinky and disgusting. All day this wretched smell has haunted me. At work they must've thought I was at a smoky lounge before I showed up in the morning. The whole day the smell followed me. It made the eyes of those around me burn. I come home from work and the smell is just as putrid as ever. I hit Walmart and had to spend $13 on shit to freshen up the place. My dear, poor cats continue to endure this nastiness to a much higher degree as they stay closer to the epicenter and have a much keener olfactory than I. Fucking idiots!

So, I have to hold back and maybe harken to Ghandi for some inner peace and reassurance that come this month's conclusion I might find an idiot abatement.

Maybe today I do the Met!

Today I'm feeling:

Stressed

This is a horrible month. Horrible, horrible month. So bad, I bought a lotto ticket. Something has to shake, right?

Gimme a sign

The East Village

Snow day!

Yesterday was my worst day ever as a teacher! I was so without focus or organization. It's back to the drawing board for me. So, with that in mind, I need to hear from YOU!

The young woman I tutor works extensive hours in the computer lab. She overnights it several times a week. But, she loves it! According to her, it's the only way she can log so many hours. And I believe it. But I'm jealous. I want something that I love that much where I'm compelled to try and improve and work. I want something that's so compulsive where I just can't stop working at it. That, I've easily come to realize, is NOT teaching. So, it's back to the drawing board.

What do I love? Travel. I think. No, I don't do it often. But I relish traveling. The few times I have been afforded the opportunity of a trip still languish in my mind. So I have a hunch that my life's work could quite possibly lie therein. But the dilemma is how to turn traveling into a fruitful career? I've thought about becoming a travel writer, but that industry is not a guarantee for me. I'd have to write the right pieces about the right places at the right times for the right people. It seems too hit or miss for me. And besides, what I find appealing is rarely appealing to others. I just wouldn't write the articles and books that people would want to read.

I could join the military, but I think I'm completely against the military. Especially the U.S. armed services.

What other viable options are there to try? I can't go on this way. Help me brainstorm. With that said, let the first open call for travel careers commence!

P.S. I was thinking, and it's quite humorous, the only person with a better story to tell from the other morning, than myself, is the neighbor fortunate enough to peer through his/her window at 4am to see me digging a grave in my front garden. Can you imagine?

Today I'm feeling:

the foul grip of despair

Anything yet?

Grave prospects

What started as a rabbit grave will now be devoted to some sort of Spring flora. I guess I'll take a trip out to the local Home Depot and see what colorful, low maintenance plants they've got for sale and maybe plant it in the name of Floyd. I certainly can't ever use it as a grave now, this morning I caught my kitty digging in it! Bad omen. I figured I'd throw some life in there quick (after this current cold spell) and change my poor fortune around.

Art=Gay
Graffiti=Art
Neat little prose spray painted on the tunnel wall at the Manhattan base of the Williamsburg Bridge

I don't know whether it means that graffiti is gay, or it's hetero art?

Today I'm feeling:

drained

Like I can't keep pace with waking up early and coming home late. But I can. I mean, I am. I'm a slave like the rest of us. This fucking blows. Quick, someone, point me in a direction! Comment.

Rest in peace to the boy Floyd

c. 2005-2007

I owe you my first sip of something cool and alcoholic. I hope your final resting place is a cozy one. May your life partner, Piglet, live long and prosperous in your absence. May she find happiness and an appreciation of life without you. And may your airhead master get her act together. I didn't know you long, but you didn't know Earth for too long as it were. Still, our souls touched and for that I wish you bliss in the afterlife if there is one. Your spirit was a free one. You refused to be contained. You exuded a feral quality unmatched elsewhere in the inner city. I applaud your unyielding vigor for freedom. I sincerely hope there are no homes where you're going; just a big green bok choy field in the sky. I remain deeply saddened by your loss. Thanks for the times we shared, friend.

Wise men should never argue with fools. When they do, people who look on can't tell the wise man from the fool. They both look like fools.
paraphrasing of a Far East proverb

Today I feel:

absorbed and consumed by anger

Frustrated mostly. The month of April has bathed me in idiocy. My kingdom for some humans with something besides meat for brains! These characters couldn't seem anymore dumb or selfish. Okay, I'll stop now. Someone say something.

Thoughts in solitude

Buenos Aires equivalent to the NYC "canyon"

Mother seems to really like ATL. It seems she'll strongly consider making a move. Not encouraging to me. Kind of selfish of me, but wondering in Williamsburg last night made me wish I could really live there with another friendly, slim and smiley body. We could walk and peruse the funky boutiques, eat a slice, and unwind at McCarren Park together. Yes, a bit haughty-toighty. But also not too far from eclectic either. I suppose there's an image trade-off of some sort. Not hipster/trust-funded but not project/ghetto either. Oy vey.

Today I'm feeling:

well

My body has some aching. And I can't seem to find a suitable activity/exercise for my first basic English class later this morning. But I'm well. Today you're feeling?

Happy 67th mom!

A New York state of mind

Condor at Sam's Point, New York

Had a terrible April Fool's Day. Got a ticket for unsafe riding on the J train. It comes with a $75 fine. Furthermore, it's frustrated me something serious. Shouldn't the police consider curtailing actual crime than someone who's just on the train to reach a destination?

Venezuela is in full effect! Arepas and hot chocolate from Hugo Chavez' home tried earnestly to soothe my seething soul. It helped.

Mother dearest is in the Dirty South for the next couple weeks. Maybe she'll return with some of that renowned hospitality.

Needless to say, I'm not soaring as high as the condor above is. Maybe it's time for a Redbull?

Today I'm feeling:

highly disappointed

...in the New York City Transit Authority, their policies, and the law enforcement that supports their policies. The sons of bitches are unrealistic. That's all I'm saying. And yourselves? What've you all got to say?

April's fool

Just outside the San Telmo antiques market in Buenos Aires, 2006

So a year ago this month I was in Argentina. Nice place. Fond memories of my short stay remain. Can't say I wouldn't like to go back.

Anyways, I'm not really with the April fools stuff. So I'm not going to try and get you to believe anything that's untrue or do any story telling. Sorry to disappoint.

I like orange juice.

Seriously thinking of road tripping it to California in July. I've got a couch to crash on in the Sunflower State, and I actually would like to redeem the offer. It's unrealistic though. It'd cost way more to drive cross country than to just catch a red eye and touch down 5 hours later. But, if I had a road dawg to travel with...

Today I'm feeling:

plain

As in the plains! I'm really in a dreaming mood. I've got the travel bug. It's viral.