Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Derelict rhetoric


Urban sprawl, uptown, NYC

I guess it's possible to read one thing and see anything you want. For goodness sakes, there's a lip gloss song out that's getting serious airplay on the radio (and people are seriously listening). I'm not a professor. I'm not a photographer. I'm not an artist. I'm not a philosopher. I'm not a social scientist. I hope you readers don't take that with you when you leave this page. I write a minute's worth of reading a day with the hope that you there, at your desk job, can get a slice of entertainment during your down time. That way I feel encouraged that you'll visit me tomorrow and the next day. That's also why I post everyday. And with that said... I'll see you tomorrow, no?

"If everybody's a killer, where the fuck is all the punks?"
Joe Budden on Real life in rap

Spoke to the KFC ex-employee of the decade again! Wait a minute. It smells like cat piss in here. Whoops, never mind, it's me. I haven't washed this shirt in weeks. I digress. The KFC ex-employee is calling me. Not that I mind, particularly because she's a good looking woman, but she just made it clear that she wants a guy friend that's nothing more than a friend. Now, that's all good and fine. Except when it comes to me. I have a philosophy on the whole being friends with women thing. If you're reading this, Jenny, you're safe. You're one of the rare exceptions to this philosophy. But my deal is that I've got all the friends I want already. They're called men, and they're way better than most women are in the friends department. They aren't all that sensitive, and they don't linger on the phone. You have specialized men friends that fit several different needs. I have friends for basketball. Then I have another set for drinking. And I have a set for general socializing. And I have another set for miscellaneous crazy shit. With women, they think of themselves as all purpose. And besides that, I tend to usually find the woman friend that only calls when she needs something. Usually it's the "where's that pool hall we went to that time when you said that peanut butter only goes well with dairy products that are sweetened?" needs that I have to bear. Such a tragedy. Moral of the story, my time and effort is being wasted (btw, it was her brother who's married to her sister-in-law and not her who's married to her sister-in-law's brother... in other words, she's not married).

I haven't written a paragraph that long in ages.

Today I'm feeling:

futile

As in resistance is futile. I'm just not going to win. And crackhead's birthday is today. The crackhead in question being my brother, who is an actual crackhead in real life. Just saying, not actually wishing him a happy one or anything retarded like that.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Maybe you are a poet and just don't know it. Well your words are very inspiring to me, so please continue...I read this everyday although I may not get a chance to always respond.

PS - I'm feeling that Joe Buddens lyric, how bout adding a lyric a day as well, that would be sweet.

- Too Eazy

Sean said...

great suggestion man!

Leila V. said...

Sean:
I must agree, men do make much better friends than women, only because they won't sleep with your boyfriend, (most of the time). ;)

Sean said...

Most of the time!